My first friend in America
She gave me my first taste of popular American food – French fries at the McDonald’s in Fremont and Mexican pizza at Taco Bell. I know it may seem trivial, but she made even the simplest of things magnificent. I still remember how my mouth watered when she described the food and how we made a mad dash through the front door in anticipation of the freedom and delicacy of each savory bite we were about to partake.
She drove me to Berkeley for my first Kaplan SAT prep class in 1999 and was ticketed for parking near a fire hydrant on congested University Avenue, as she was escorting me into the building (to make sure I knew where to go). I know it may not seem like a big deal, but that was the first time she’d bravely driven to downtown Berkeley, and had overcome her personal fears to take responsibility for someone whom she’d hardly known for 2 months.
She took me on my first San Francisco shopping spree. It was a thoroughly enjoyable day for us, riding in the BART and taking in the sights at Powell station and Union square. She loved cable car rides and the pulsating beat of the city. And so we shopped till we had our hands full with bags from various fashionable stores and feet that were tired from trudging up and down our favorite city’s sinusoid streets. But being the bundle of energy that she was, she insisted that no trip to San Francisco would be complete without going to FAO Schwarz. So I went along, curious and excited at the prospect of seeing a magical toy store. Her description of the store was half the enchantment and like always, I was drawn into her contagious delight. Needless to say, our tiredness vanished and was replaced by a sense of childlike wonderment at the toys and dolls around us.
She took me to my first beauty salon visit in the US (Sunnyvale) and didn’t stop fussing about what to do with my hair until she was satisfied that stylist would do a good job. Once that was done, she sat down, opened her little notebook and went through her to-do list again. You see, she was already planning the next activity. She was a pro at organizing things and was always moving from one task to another, giving the present task the full attention that was due, nothing less would do. I loved that about her.
She took me to my first Hindi movie in the US, at the NAZ8 Theater in Fremont. We had no idea that this would become our favorite movie and that we would return to the same theater the next day to watch it again. The movie was “Kaho na pyar hai”, starring hunky Hrithik Roshan and fresh faced Amisha Patel. As we walked out of the theater, past the music store, we looked at each other and shared a knowing smile. Without saying it out loud, we both knew that we couldn’t wait to see the movie again and that we wanted to listen to the songs without delay. And so, laughing at ourselves and our ludicrous adolescent behavior, we bought the CD, ran back to the car, turned on the stereo and cranked up the volume to “ek pal ka jeena” while simultaneously opening the moon roof on her car as we sped away to our homes blissfully content, back to our respective husbands who probably took one look at our faces and wondered what trouble we’d gotten ourselves into.
I can go on and on…so many of my first experiences in America were with Anitakka. And, they were memorable because she was with me, adding her enthusiasm to even the most mundane of things and encouraging me to dream big always.
I remember when I heard the news. I simply could not believe it. After I came to terms with her untimely and tragic departure, it gradually occurred to me that she indeed lived her life wonderfully. She was well-loved and cherished, had done so many things on earth and I’m sure she’ll do much more in heaven. I will forever be grateful to have known Anitakka. I will forever be grateful for spending 10 years of my life with a friend and sister like her. All the memories I have shared with her will forever be cherished and remembered. Anitakka will forever live in my heart… In our hearts.

Peace and Love,
Deepti Illa
Feb 7th, 2010