Missed you on your Birthday Anita and thinking of you today on Raksha Bandhan.
Wish you Happiness where ever you are. Luv you.

Arun

Memorable times

Dear Raghu,

We came to know about Anita's passing recently and with a heavy heart convey our deepest condolences to you, Neil, Ved, Uncle and your family. We remember you all often...we spent some memorable times together with the kids and feel lucky to have known Anita, her beautiful smile, kindness & gentle mannerisms will always be cherished.

Just a few days ago while we were driving home, Amit asked me if Neil is still in India? He said that he remembered Neil and wanted to play with him. I'm sure the kids must have grown a lot now. I'm sending a few pics we took together as an attachment.

Lots of love to the kids & a Big Hello to Neil from Amit!

With regards and prayers,

Renu & Arthur

'ANGEL' in every sense

Anita......In one word if I want to say anything about Anita then
it is 'ANGEL' in every sense. She was an angel in every sense of the word.

I have known Anita as a polite and kind person from 1990 when she first joined our group of friends in degree college. Since then she has been one of my dear friends. One of my cherished memory of us was our 'sleep over' in Om Nagar along with another friend Indira. After planning ,we went around the city buying all our favourite junk
food for the night. As it was in the early years of our married life we had great fun talking and discussing all the girlie things.

Even though Anita was in US after marriage,she made frequent long trips to India and we friends used to tease her about it a lot. Anita and I shared a common interest in soft ,romantic movies and we used to call them as 'our kind of films'. If any one of us missed watching a particular movie then we used to ask each other if it was 'our kind of film'. And if we watched them together then we used to discuss about them for hours together and add our special touch to them in our discussions. That's the way it always was.

When we first heard about Anita's illness we friends were in a great shock and we did not know how to approach her with it when she came to India 3 years back. But Anita being Anita never once made it to be a big issue and carried on with her life with the same zest. Sometimes I used to wonder from where she got all the energy. Then immediately one name used to strike me -- Raghu. He has been a great pillar of strength for her through thick and thin....In fact she was very lucky to have such a great supporting family.

The last time I saw Anita in her usual happy self was on her birthday - 6 Aug 2009. I remember Narmada Aunty telling me that Raghu asked Anita if she wanted anything for her Birthday and she said, she wants her close friends to be invited. That's how much she loved her friends and I am very proud to say that I was one of them. Some times I wonder why God has been so unkind for such a loving person. May be God wants all the best and beautiful flowers for his garden and who else can it be for him other than my beloved friend.

May God give Raghu ,Neil and Ved all the strength to go on with their lives .Even though Neil and Ved are very young ,specially Ved, I still think they will carry the loving memories of their mother and her values into their future because that is the touch of my beloved friend.

Anita.....

Deep in my heart your - memories are kept
I love you too dearly to ever-forget
Silent thoughts bring many a tear
My love for you shall ever be dear.

Miss you my friend.

love
Keerthi Mandadi Reddy.

May Your Memories Comfort You

Dear Sheela and Mahesh,

We heard about Anita's untimely demise from Rajani. Both of us were very
upset and sad to get the news. Please convey our heartfelt condolences to
Raghu, Sheela to your father, and all the close members of the family. Our
thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this time. I remember seeing
Anita at Rajani's house and also at your 25th anniversary celebrations. She
looked so lovely in her green sari. May her soul rest in peace. May God give
all of you the strength to tide over the grief and gradually progress
towards healing and recovery.

With all our prayers,
Arun and Poornima

Smiling face

Hi Raghu,
I am still not able to believe this news, I could still recollect her smiling face. Last May we met during Mahesh and Sheela's anniversary. I am not able to write anything beyond this and not able to digest that fact that things are so unforgiving for good people. Our sincere prayers to the God to give strength to you and the little ones.

- Sricharan and Yamini.

"the boss' gorgeous wife".

My dear Raghu,

I understand Anita's need to be private about it - she was a fighter. I so so wish we had met last year when you all were planning to come down to Toronto.

Yes, I will always remember Anita as a loving, caring, Charming and generous person who always put others first. I feel honored to have known her so closely. I have not forgotten the first day I met Anita in the old Ramp office. The two of us were in the 1 conference room we had discussing timelines and work, when she walked in to the room. She looked beautiful in her blue and green crepe churidaar and it was her smile that captivated me. I recall going back home and raving and ranting to Bhaskar about "the boss' gorgeous wife". ... and over the years she became a friend. I fondly
remember my visit to your home in CA when Vedh was less than a year old. That was the last time I saw Anita and that is the way I will always remember her - laughing, smiling and ever so content with her boys.

I have you, the boys, her mom and her brothers in my prayers. I will pray
that you find the strength to carry on.

Bhaskar & Melissa

fun loving, happy and caring sister with a big heart.

Dear Raghuanna,

Kruthi and I spent the day thinking of Anithakka and the good memories we had with her. In our hearts, she will always be the fun loving, happy and caring sister with a big heart.

She always brought life to the parties with her enthusiam. I am sure you would never dance if it wasn't for anithakka.

Though she is my vadhina, she has always been like an akka to me. When I was away from home, she was always there for me during the good and the difficult times - my job search, graduation, first job, first apartment, my car pooja, my marriage... Her tomato pappu was out of this world. Even when you guys were out of town, she made sure there was enough pappu for me to last the whole time you were away. In her memory we went to cosentinos and got her favorite boston cream cake.

I will never forget those memories and will always remember how much she cared for me.

Love,
Kruthi & Sri Ram.

Kindest & Sweetest

Hi Raghu mama and Ravi Thatha,

Iam really sorry to hear about Anita akka. I know I do not meet the Bathina family much, but when I do, it is always special and I always cherish those moments, especially those spent with Anita akka.

She was a very special person, one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever met in my life, and I feel very lucky to have known her. I just want you to know that she has been in my prayers along with you, Neel and Ved. I wish I was there at this time, but unfortunately it is not possible.

Neel and Ved are very lucky to have such a great father and gradfather, please send them my regards.

Please know we are all here for you and take care,

Priyanka

the ideal couple

I want to express my deepest sympathy on the passing of Anita. My thoughts are with you, Neil & Ved. From the very first time, we met Anita & you, Indira and myself always used to look towards you as the ideal couple. Anita is always so cheerful and full of life. In last couple of months there is not even a single day, when Anita and you were not in my & Indira’s thoughts. Indira and I came over last night to your place to pay our last respects to Anita. Anita will always be in our thoughts and prayers.

I spent time with Neil & Ved on Sunday and this morning. They are both very well behaved kids with full of energy and a very friendly nature.


Please take care of yourself & Kids.

With Regards,
Vijay

simple, plain easy going person

We (I and Karuna) want express our deepest condolenses. Thanks to Shyam and Sridhar to call and inform the matter within minutes of the incident. We always feel as your extended family and had touched both of us. I am glad I came and stayed that night at your place in Hyderabad last time I visited. Frankly I hardly ever stayed away from my apartment or hotel when I visited Hyderabad. I also remember the night I stayed at your apartment. Beyond knowing you and Anita otherways, having spent two days at your place I completely know Anita as such a great simple, plain easy going person. She is with us in our memories. There are many moments we all remember and cherish.

I did not want to disturb you in the middle of so many things, Shyam also told me that you preferred to stay away from normal rituals. I felt it so hard and I can imagine how this is to you and uncle. It is always very hard to loose someone you are close to, but it is especially hard the second time. We wish you all the strength you need now to go through this hard time. I am very emotional person myself. Convey the same to uncle.

I will be glad if I can be of any help.

Koti

“Those we love don’t go away, they live in our hearts every day.”

“DEAR SISTER”

It’s So Hard To Believe That You’re Really Gone

How Many Tears I’ve Cried
The Day I Was Told
My Precious Sister Had Died

And To Know That I Will No Longer
See The Smile On Your Face, or Hear The Sound Of You’re Laughter

It Seems Impossible
Although I Know It’s True

Everything I See
Reminds Me Of You

You Left So Many Beautiful Memories, Which Will Never Part
You Will Always Live Deep Inside My Heart

I Am So Thankful That God Graced Me
With A Sister As Special As You
It’s Just Hard To Believe
Your Life On Earth Is Really Through

I Thought Of You Today, But That Is Nothing New
I Thought Of You Yesterday, And Will Tomorrow, Too

I Think Of You In Silence, For What It Meant To Lose You
Only Those Who Love You Know.

Remembering You Is Easy, I Do It Everyday.
It's The Heartache Of Losing You, That Will Never Go Away.

Suchi

While there are many philosophical ways to explain & imbibe a tragedy such as a sister passing on so young, the fact is that it is one of life's most painful moments & must be endured with the same courage that Anita fought cancer.

To me & Suchi, when we saw Anita in January, who we saw was an incredibly fearless person, so calm & composed while staring death in the face. That experience actually led us to believe that this was one battle cancer was not going to win. This did not happen but cancer was not able to break her strength & courage till the end.
We did pray for her after seeing her that day, but prayers are not always answered.
Take care & always remember that you are not alone in this moment of grief,

Cast this in stone! In time to come, this blog will develop into a treasured memoir of the brave young lady who lived 39 yrs as your sister (& as you mentioned was one to all of us).

Bala

My first friend in America
She gave me my first taste of popular American food – French fries at the McDonald’s in Fremont and Mexican pizza at Taco Bell. I know it may seem trivial, but she made even the simplest of things magnificent. I still remember how my mouth watered when she described the food and how we made a mad dash through the front door in anticipation of the freedom and delicacy of each savory bite we were about to partake.
She drove me to Berkeley for my first Kaplan SAT prep class in 1999 and was ticketed for parking near a fire hydrant on congested University Avenue, as she was escorting me into the building (to make sure I knew where to go). I know it may not seem like a big deal, but that was the first time she’d bravely driven to downtown Berkeley, and had overcome her personal fears to take responsibility for someone whom she’d hardly known for 2 months.
She took me on my first San Francisco shopping spree. It was a thoroughly enjoyable day for us, riding in the BART and taking in the sights at Powell station and Union square. She loved cable car rides and the pulsating beat of the city. And so we shopped till we had our hands full with bags from various fashionable stores and feet that were tired from trudging up and down our favorite city’s sinusoid streets. But being the bundle of energy that she was, she insisted that no trip to San Francisco would be complete without going to FAO Schwarz. So I went along, curious and excited at the prospect of seeing a magical toy store. Her description of the store was half the enchantment and like always, I was drawn into her contagious delight. Needless to say, our tiredness vanished and was replaced by a sense of childlike wonderment at the toys and dolls around us.
She took me to my first beauty salon visit in the US (Sunnyvale) and didn’t stop fussing about what to do with my hair until she was satisfied that stylist would do a good job. Once that was done, she sat down, opened her little notebook and went through her to-do list again. You see, she was already planning the next activity. She was a pro at organizing things and was always moving from one task to another, giving the present task the full attention that was due, nothing less would do. I loved that about her.
She took me to my first Hindi movie in the US, at the NAZ8 Theater in Fremont. We had no idea that this would become our favorite movie and that we would return to the same theater the next day to watch it again. The movie was “Kaho na pyar hai”, starring hunky Hrithik Roshan and fresh faced Amisha Patel. As we walked out of the theater, past the music store, we looked at each other and shared a knowing smile. Without saying it out loud, we both knew that we couldn’t wait to see the movie again and that we wanted to listen to the songs without delay. And so, laughing at ourselves and our ludicrous adolescent behavior, we bought the CD, ran back to the car, turned on the stereo and cranked up the volume to “ek pal ka jeena” while simultaneously opening the moon roof on her car as we sped away to our homes blissfully content, back to our respective husbands who probably took one look at our faces and wondered what trouble we’d gotten ourselves into.
I can go on and on…so many of my first experiences in America were with Anitakka. And, they were memorable because she was with me, adding her enthusiasm to even the most mundane of things and encouraging me to dream big always.
I remember when I heard the news. I simply could not believe it. After I came to terms with her untimely and tragic departure, it gradually occurred to me that she indeed lived her life wonderfully. She was well-loved and cherished, had done so many things on earth and I’m sure she’ll do much more in heaven. I will forever be grateful to have known Anitakka. I will forever be grateful for spending 10 years of my life with a friend and sister like her. All the memories I have shared with her will forever be cherished and remembered. Anitakka will forever live in my heart… In our hearts.

Peace and Love,
Deepti Illa
Feb 7th, 2010

love and compassion...

Dearest Anita Didi,

You are truly the most graceful person I have met! I cannot imagine all your challenges but know you have been able to get through everything because of your incredible capacity for love. You are a most generous and compassionate soul and it is such an absolute joy to be around you.

From the first time we met in Hyderabad, I knew how blessed I was to have gained such a wonderful sister! In fact, I remember calling my Mom and immediately telling her how much I liked you! You truly treat your guests like God- with so much love and compassion.

I have never met anyone who can giggle about pop culture in one breath and speak seriously about spirituality in another- what a great gift!

I will always admire your intense devotion to God, your family, and especially to your children. Not only are you the ideal daughter but also daughter in law, wife, and mother. I will never forget the great advice you gave me as I entered married life and watching your wonderful example as you played your roles so perfectly.

We love you so much and have been praying every day with little Jeevan for your peace.

I feel so blessed to have the chance to know you. I miss you so much already, but will keep you in our hearts and treasure you always.

With all our love.
Arun, Sujoya, and Jeevan

Simple, Honest and always there...

Before I got married, I had no relatives or family in USA. After my marriage, Anita truly embraced me and Deepti more than anyone...without any hidden agenda.

That was the great thing about her - No agenda. She was a simple, honest, always there for everyone, always had fun!!

A very rare person, who touched a lot of people, without be patronizing.

Few comments from the yesterday's impromtu memorial:

- She created memories for everyone
- Every gift she gave, she thought about the person
- Can genuinely say that she was a better person than all the people gathered here
- never saw her in the same dress twice.

Now, I have no one to visit on Rakhi, in America :(

I am sure she will make heaven a better place.

Sridhar Guthula

Desi Girl!!

I saw you yesterday, dancing to Desi Girl. You were dressed in a blue salwar, flitting gracefully across the giant television screen as we all watched and wept. It’s hard to believe that you are gone permanently from our lives. You have been such a beautiful, glamorous, graceful part of this family from the moment you first entered it as a young bride. We saw all those pictures of you that you probably didn’t even know existed. You were a photographer’s dream-- perfect from any angle. We saw pictures of you smiling and laughing and always fashionable in beautiful sarees and stylish outfits, dazzling jewelry and fancy hats. You could do traditional and you could do western, you could be demure and you could shake a mean hip, and you always looked good whatever you did.

How did you do it? How did you live your life with so much joy and enthusiasm? You were always the life of the party, planning and coordinating each event, filling it with fun and laughter, making sure everyone always had a good time. It takes a generous spirit to think about everyone, to be inclusive, to be considerate, to watch over things that way. Everyone wants to have a good time, but who has the patience and the energy to skillfully create those moments, colorful bright memories that will live on in each of our hearts for a lifetime? I remember the parties. Your parties were always special. You had DJs, you had lights, you had music and fabulous food. You had to force us sometimes to come out of our selfish shells, nudging us gently to let those inhibitions go and to be young again. I remember the games: charades and pictionary and taboo and guesstures. You provided the venues and the carefully orchestrated events that helped us forget our own troubles and connect with each other as friends and family. I remember Holi, all of us becoming children again in the warm sunshine of your backyard. You had colored powders for us, and water pistols, and we frolicked on the green grass, shooting at each other and collapsing in drenched laughter. You had a graceful way of creating those moments and then stepping back, standing quietly at their center and taking a keen pleasure in our enjoyment.

Service to humanity is a term that is thrown around pretty loosely nowadays. Does anyone recognize, I wonder, the value of the kind of service you provided to all those who knew you? Above and beyond the charity work with orphans and the school for the blind, the feeding of the poor and other countless generous acts, you provided the invaluable service of constantly rekindling joy in our hearts. There were so many times when I felt down in the past decade, when your contagious enthusiasm for life pulled me up and out of those lows. “Come over, come over, come home.” This was your constant refrain. It wasn’t just for me but for all of us. You loved people and in feeding them, entertaining them, and making them feel special, you derived your childlike joy. With your warm welcome, coming over always felt like coming home.

Your life was too short, Anita. You have left behind a void that can never be filled by anyone else in this family. None of us has the generosity of spirit and largeness of heart to be what you were to all of us. You kept us connected and you kept us young. Your courage over the past three years and your defiant spirit despite illness and tremendous pain have been an incredible inspiration. Many of us have had our share of troubles but how many of us can dance as joyfully as you did in the face of impending death? You showed us what it is to be not only strong and stoic, but to never stifle our love for life and to live each moment with zest and enthusiasm, even if it is literally our last. You will always be my hero.

Love,
Jyothi

Sisterhood!!

My very first memory about Anita was, every one talking about how beautiful new neighbor's girl is when they moved to our Omnagar colony. I was awestruck with this teenage girl who was not only beautiful but had an amazing sense of dressing and cool vibes. Befriending her was not at all a big deal….she loved people! And she wanted them around her all the time and that’s how our friendship started 24 years ago.

It was only natural for Anita to push our friendship into more meaningful sisterhood…….oh yeah! She was one possessive sister watching out for me, critiquing, teaching, supporting, advising and loving me since.

Even though we schemed several times to live close by, life took us in two different directions. But she was always there for me just a phone call or an email away. Whenever we met, hours would just melt away….she loved to stay up late with me watching bollywood movies, catching up with gossip and somehow between all this she would cook a delicious meal, plan for outings and of course, make sure that she is impeccably dressed every minute. I once asked her where she gets her enthusiasm to dress so well all the time and her reply….”Oh! I love clothes and I see them as part of celebrating our life”. That's what Anita is all about 'enjoying' and simply 'living life' thru thick and thin.

I miss her now and will continue to at every turn rest of my life. But the friendship & sisterhood she built between us does not end with her not being here…..it will continue on with her family, Neel and Ved her two charming kids and her doting husband Raghu.

It was hard for me to reason with the events in last 3 years of Anita’s life. But she went thru her illness with unsettled determination. Life got as brutal as it can get and it was devastating to hear her loss. Knowing her as long as I did….I can only guess what she wants us do now. Pick up all the pieces and move on.

Here’s our chance to move forward. Let’s reminisce on all our memories of Anita and celebrate her life.

Pratima Bandla
Salt Lake City, Utah

Karma Yogini!

Our dear ravi and raghu....

Very sorry to hear about the quite unexpected news of our dear Anita's departure for the eternal abode of our dear Swamy....As painful as it is to accept the fact that she is no longer physically amongst us...as a pure divine soul she will always be amonst u protecting, guiding and blessing and as well as all of us , as she is dear to us too...such a loving person she is...

with whatever little time we spent amongst her in Sanjose, we were moved by her affection to one and all ,just like swamy and we knew she was a born karma yogini. She has done her Divine assignment well to her fullest capabilities and merged back into the Divine....we feel fortunate to have known such a Divine soul in this physical world...May lord sai bless this divine soul merging back in him....

Today, Sailaja talked to us about her uncle's demise and informed us about Anita..Madhav Reddy also sent a mail after meeting u...and we got ur mail also...all in a sequence....making us feel that our dear Anita is personally bidding goodbye to us....We all will miss her much for sure but we know she is in the peaceful, blissful Divine world, that we all will look forward to....

with deepest condolences to u both and children.......with loving sairams....

Raji and Shankar
Feb 3, 2010

Compassion and Affection

This is a huge huge shock to me as well. I just came back from a conference in San Diego to see this as my first email. I'm extremely sorry to hear about this and my deepest condolences to you, raghu uncle and children, and the whole family. I pray to Swami for her soul and to give you all the strength to get through this period. I know my dad has aptly conveyed what we all feel but I wanted to add a personal touch to it.

Anita aunty for me was a personification of compassion and affection.

I still remember our really nice time we had at San Jose. I wanted to share one specific memory that is so clear to me. One day we went to raghu uncle's house for lunch (incidentally it was also my bday.(we were staying at another friend's house). Although I wasn't much into celebration, Anita aunty ofcourse in her affection realizing this in a short notice, quickly arranged for a small celebration with a cake etc and we had nice fun. But while I was playing with neel, in some topic of conversation, I think I just made a very casual remark that I love donuts especially "krispy creme". Thats it. The very next morning, anita aunty went to a krispy creme's bakery, bought a whole box of freshly made donuts, and drove all the way to our friend's house which was quite far away just to drop off the box exclusively for me!! When the door bell rang, I was so surprised to see aunty at the door holding a box of krispy cremes! You can't imagine how excited I was like a little kid. It was so unexpected. I was so happy that in fact I think I ate the whole box myself!!! And actually that was the last time I ever had "krispy cremes".

That was her level of affection which she showed in this small act. I can never forget this and I will always cherish this memory. I think there are many people (in fact almost everyone) who live through their lives, wanting to do big things, aspiring for things, having ambitions etc etc, but I think the most important thing is how one lives their life and how one is remembered after they leave, as everything else doesn't really matter that much. I feel that anita aunty is a prime example of how she will always be remembered as kind, loving, affectionate person.

Her memories are permanent with us and also she is with us all the time since she is now with Swami.

My best wishes, love and condolences again to the entire family.

Shiva
Feb 3, 2010

Anita, my friend.....

I am a bearer of sad news today. Our classmate from St. Anns Anita Bathina passed away on Sunday Jan 31, 2010 at 1:45 pm, in Hyderabad, India. She passed away after facing a brave and uphill battle with cancer.

She is survived by her husband Raghu and two sons Neil and Ved ages 8 and 4 respectively.

Anita and I became very good friends after we moved to Bay area in 1993. There are some people who have made a positive impact in my life. She was one of them. We were always there for each other. We would confide with each other on various issues. She would always tell me to enjoy life. That was her mantra. She planned weekend getaways with us and told me to live a little. She loved dancing. She told me that it relieved her stress. Loved to shop. She knew in and out of Valley Fair Mall. She was either buying clothes or returning them. I would always tease her about it. She would ask me to dress up. She would buy clothes for me from Bangalore and Hyderabad.

She always wanted to have kids. When Neil was born, she was thrilled. Neil and my son are really good friends. She and I would always plan everything to do with our kids futures. We would laugh about it all the time. With Ved, her joy had no bounds. She was a great mom. Thoughtful, caring, loving, always there for them.

When she went through chemotherapy, in Bay area, she would tell me that family is the most valuable thing in the whole world. "Nothing else matters, Jyothi", were her frequent words. I promised that I would her visit her every week during her chemo sessions, but I did not keep my word. I visited her alternate weeks. When I cried, she would tell me to be strong.

I visited her in India in October '09. She looked very weak and when I asked her she told me that she had stomach flu. Little did I know that I will not be seeing her again.

I pray for her peace and I would like her to know if she is watching that I will be there for her kids always.

I pray that God gives Raghu and the kids the strength to go through these difficult times.

Anita, my friend.... I will always remember and love you

Jyothi Chillara CPA, MST

Pallavi to Anita

Life with its myriad colors throws unexpected twists and turns at every corner. Some people are meant to make a difference in our lives. Some memories are meant to be with us forever. I had the fortune to be with that kind of a person and she left me with memories for a lifetime. Anita akka, you gave a different approach for me to look at life.

When I was young, I used to run around you watching you dress up. You instilled in me the sense of fashion and love for life.

My greatest moment came when I got to be the bridesmaid for your wedding. I could sit next to you and do all the rituals. I had stars in my eyes that day.

I finished my engineering and was ready to fly to the US.I called you, and the warm welcome you gave, made me confident for the new world. You got me a phone all through my masters so I could stay connected. That was so wonderful.

You were like a big sister, checking on me saying,” I want to make sure you are a good girl”. We used to make fun of each other saying” Yeah, you want to see if I have any boy friends”

You could gel with almost anyone and make them feel so comfortable. After a year and a half, I came to stay with you and I saw Ved for the first time. He was like a teddy bear and exactly like Raghuchinnana.We wished for a girl but he was equally cute and you dressed him up as well. Neil was so cute and so caring just as you.

I Love dressing up and being fashionable and you were my role model. Your aesthetic sense was fantastic and you had an elegance and class in style, which mesmerized me all the time, and I always felt you would have done great at Fashion designing.

In Jan 2007, I stayed with you again in my quest for a job. I was a little hesitant and did not want to cause any inconvenience but you made sure my slightest doubts flew away and bore my mood swings in my crucial times of despair.

I always felt dejected when rejections came and I used to shut myself from the world. You gave me moral support throughout and made sure I went out and lightened my mood. When you were planning to go to India for good and things were being packed up, you still went a long way to satisfy all friends. You attended their parties but made sure you had enough time to watch movies with me thereby not leaving me alone.

My 2007, when the diagnosis came, it shook me up. I realized my sister was going through so much pain and I was worrying about trivial things in life. Finally in June 2007, when I got my first job in RR, you were so happy for me and celebrated by bringing a cake even in your toughest times. Thanks to raghu chinana for guiding me through the job interview process and giving me the tips for better performance. When you left for India, I was sad but happy that you were in your comfort place in India.

I was so engrossed in work and we used to talk over phone and discuss about life and kids. You would return calls when the kids were in bed. I got a chance to see you again in August 2008 but we could spend only little time with each other.

I never realized that was the last time I would see you. I was hoping and praying for a miracle so I could meet you again. I really wish I could have met you once more.

These are only a few moments in my wonderful time with her. I cherish every single day and hope to be like her spreading unconditional love all around me.

All I really wish for is that she has a good life in the other world. You are the” Angel in my Life” .I am so happy I was a part of your world and it drives me to be a better person.

Dear God” You have my precious treasure with you and please make sure she has a lovely time with you”.

A Tribute to a Desi Diva!!!

I can’t believe Anita is gone , gone forever!

The last I saw her was almost a year back, dancing gracefully, like poetry in motion to the beats of “Desi girl. “She is so fresh in my memory, lingering like the delicate fragrance of a lily!

Such a beautiful Doll, broken and can’t be fixed and gone forever, what a sad and sudden ending to a life so beautiful!

Though my interaction with her was for brief episodes during the last three decades or so , when she became Bathina’s “ BAHU “, though we were living apart in different continents as Life often demands, whenever we met she used to welcome us with her all pervading and infectious smile.

She was large at heart, a genuine, selfless person, always caring and affectionate, so much so whoever came into her perimeter simply got mesmerized and overwhelmed by her unconditional love!

It was her simplicity, openness and her genuine feelings, made people go to her, not for any ulterior motives. Myself being a party animal, I used to enjoy her parties thoroughly, whatever may be the occasion, she used to organize things in her own style and personally took care of every finer detail. She always wanted everyone to enjoy the moment. She enjoyed, people enjoying themselves in her company, truly a perfect host! We never felt alienated in her company- it was like home coming, whenever we visited her!

Never were her parties without Dance, herself a fine dancer: dance was natural to her, rather she was a born dancer!

I still remember the last time I danced with her, during Sri Rams wedding festivities, though she was exhausted and enduring immense pain for the last three years and knew what was in store for her and literally counting days and facing the certainty of death; she took pains and choreographed a dance sequence- “Om Shanti Om“and made the entire family dance to her tunes, can you believe it? Yes, chronologically she lived a short life, but what a life she lived! Her zeal and enthusiasm for life is so great she lived every moment of it! Most of us know her as a stylish and charismatic lady, but only a few know or have seen the other side of the coin.

She was a devout wife and a loving mother, God fearing and spiritually enlightened, and always in service of ‘Sai’. She has done a lot of service for the poor and needy, specially the school for the blind.Such a contrasting personality!

One moment you find her on the stage bedecked in a beautiful dress and dancing away to the latest tunes of bollywood- and the next moment you can see her gracefully draped in gorgeous Kaanjeevaram sari at the feet of her ‘ Sai “.

A perfect blend of tradition and modernity – a rare trait to see in a person!
Whatever she did, she did it with grace and style and derived joy, and gave happiness to all around her.

I do not know where she has gone, but wherever she is, she will make it a better Place! She used to affectionately call me ‘Bava” and used to play pranks with her’ Dammakka’! “Now that you left us, who will call me Bava and play pranks with your Damakka???”

She will be forever in my thoughts and memories and prayers!

Miss you Anita my P.Y.T.!!!

Madhubava.

P.S:
A strange thing occurred, which I wanted to share with you all. The day she passed away, she was in my dreams, as usual dressed in an impeccable sari and waving and saying “Bye Bava!!!” Bye.

My Dear Sister Anita!

I was the youngest of three brothers and on Aug 6th 1970, a little angel was born into our family. Initially I looked at her with some degree of innocent envy, but over the years formed an inseparable bond.

A sister we would dote on… the Soul of our family!

Anita, I can never forget those memories of you going to school in those blue uniform skirts
- walking back home together with friends from school
- your dance classes, your first performance, your Birthdays
- sharing fresh sweets made by mom every evening
- you scoring better grades than all of us
- your first days in college and your good looking friends, some disappointed by calling us anna

Dad’s favorite child. Your seat was reserved next to Dad at Dinner and he made sure you were served first and persuaded you to eat every bit. It was a common sight to see Dad sitting next to your bed the whole night when you were sick.

Anita, having a sister like you is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. We were children of the same family, same blood, have some means of enjoyment in our grasp, which no subsequent relationships can supply...
Anita was a kid sister to all our childhood friends.

We brothers were partners in crime, jumping over the balcony to play cricket, bunking school to watch a movie, robbing chocolates, fight like hell and Anita would be the peacemaker. At home you were always there defending me against odds, at times shielding me from Dad’s fury.

We built mud houses, enacted plays and hung by our hands to a bar to grow taller. To the outside world we all grew old, but not to each other. We shared and remembered private family jokes, family secrets and joys.

You always encouraged me to open up as I was shy and lost by holding back.
You had a close circle of friends from school and later college who became part of our family. You would dress up like a Princess on every occasion and how we brothers used to wait for our Rakhi each year.

Whatever I did, you still loved me. It was nice growing up with someone like you - someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on!

Sister, you were the most beautiful woman internally and externally I have known.

Can never forget Anita meeting her knight in shining armor at a wedding in Hyderabad. He was the Man every woman longs for humility, sensitivity, faithful, and a good listener.
He enriched her Life. She became spiritually grounded, gained understanding of life and changed how she looked at the world. She was convinced that he loved her better than he did himself and was very happy, it was easily seen in her face.
She gave up her favorite Non Veg food too…

Sister, you were blessed from birth to spread joy wherever you went. You believed that it is not the years lived in one’s life but the life lived in one’s years that counts.

People developed a natural fascination for you. You were a people's person. You were Sincere, Dependable and easy to get along with and have accepted everyone around you for whom and what they are, and showed appreciation for the things they did. You were Large-hearted and made a statement by your every action.

A great planner of happy occasions, you would know favorite things of each relative, friend and even acquaintances. No wonder, everybody wanted your inputs and presence at their functions and weddings. You made our trips to the US a fantastic experience, meticulously planning each day. Still fresh in memory is the trip to Mysore last summer with the whole family and incidentally that was the first holiday for Anvitha.

The birth of Neel brought you immense joy. You were his mirror, shining back at him with a world of possibilities and your love was the fuel that enabled him to do the impossible.
Veda, a cute little pumpkin who you wished was a daughter. You have instilled values and ideals that will stay with them throughout their lives.

Life changed for everyone around my Sister,the moment they heard about the diagnosis.

Anita’s amazing determination to fight for the sake of her kids and Raghu encouraged us to believe that she would pull through. She never feared the call from heaven.

Raghu was a reservoir of strength from whom she was drawing the courage to fight. Constant Prayers and Good wishes of family and friends have played a role in securing for her strength and spiritual balance. She kept her children’s schedule normal and never shared her pain. In Bangalore she would read stories to Anvitha every night before sleeping.

Jahangir asked me once how Anitamma enduring so much of pain, could enquire about his food and accommodation in Bangalore everyday.

That’s Anita for everyone, selfless.

We are proud of our brave sister. Her spirit was strong, but unfortunately at the end the body gave in.

Anita, your Precious Smile, will never be erased from our minds.
Though God granted you half a life you lived life to the fullest. You have left us a treasure of memories to cherish for a lifetime and I am very fortunate to be part of those. I know life will not be the same again, we have to get used to less Sunshine.

Her untimely death has shocked our world of family and friends and we have lost a wonderful sister. She was kind, loving, a good human, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a wife and most important a mother.

What better way to describe her than a family friend from San Jose calling her a true Karmayogini.

Will miss you on Raksha Bandhan.

Thank you Raghu for being such a faithful Husband, Son in law, a fabulous Bro in law and a great Father. The pain is fresh, tears still flow but the memories are our greatest comfort. Remember you are not alone in this moment and we will do everything possible to get you guys over this.

So for now Dear Sister, enjoy life on the other side...


Arun Kumar Parasa
10th Feb 2010
Bangalore, India